I Heard Something I Really Liked

Well, I was at this skunk train costume party up in Mendocino county. It starts at the ocean on a train at 10 am with electronic music, and goes into the redwoods, where it stops at a party with food, booze and a band. Then it returns to the coast, and other parties happen, such as the one at a beach house.

I went in costume as the 9-5 Nemesis, since I am not down with the 9-5. One of the people I met told me something I really like. He said that "it isn't what you do that kills you, it's the guilt about it". This is kind of along the lines of what I say- "embrace your vices".

So yeah, the skunk train party was great.

Got Here

Well, I made it to California. It is too beautiful here, really. I wish that my friends and family in the Northeast would just all move out here. Seriously, it would bring my life to the highest level of perfection. After picking up my car in Reno, I stopped in Nevada City to see a friend. We ate good chicken wings in the Sierras. I like the Nevada City/Grass Valley/Tahoe area a lot. Then I made it into San Francisco, where I met up with Liz. Liz is this hilarious hot chick I taught in Korea with. She is originally from Mattituck, Ny,- out near where I am from, but she moved to North Carolina in high school. True to form, she made me laugh a bunch. We had 3$ margueritas and 2$ quesadillas at some ritsy-looking place Nick's Craspy Tacos. Her friend was with her and also very cool. Then we went to a birthday party at a bar just past one of my favorite bars, and when that place closed I suggested my bar. And we went. I got a cider.

Oh, I also met the creepiest guy who was friends of a friend who was there for the birthday. He was WAY CREEPY CREEPO.

Sundays to Relax... A Great Last Day In New York

There are few things better than going to the Turkish bathouse with my two best guy friends. Tumie and I met Saylor in the city, and we went to the Turkish Russian bathouse. I have been going here lately since first going with a past suitor. (I used to occaionally go to the gym in Park City that had the same facilities... I am an expert relaxer).

The entry fee is 30$, and you can stay all day. There are a few saunas of different level, a few steam rooms with eucalptus-scented steam, a freezing cold pool, and a sundeck to hang out at. It is co-ed, and not creepy like one would maybe think. There is food and good fresh juices. I got a Fantasy Island- pinapple, orange, apple and strawberry, seaweed salad, and then when my appetite returned I got mushroom barley soup. Sundays are not just to relax, Sundays are also the day to hemmorhage money. So, the three of us split of jar of Dead Sea mud, and I got a 20 minute neck and shoulder massage. It was from this Asian-looking, Russian-sounding guy that most of my girlfriends would not get a massage from. I, on the contrary, don't give a fuck. It was good. And interesting, when he pounded my ass (surprise!), with his hands, and then pounded the rest of my back.... (Hey- I though this was a neck and shoulder massage!) All in all, I am glad I did it, since it was 25$ and I really needed something. I carry all these heavy bags all over the place and no one gives me massages. I know, french cries and Whineken are calling my name.

So, we ended the evening with thaifood.... oh, my favorite! Thai iced-tea, vegan duck pad thai as an app to share, and then, my all-time favorite... Prik King (with pork). Then in the cab on my way to the Chinatown bus, I caught this huge fireworks display happening over the river. East River, I guess? It was the finale, so it was grand. It ended, I got on the bus back to Philly, where Bad Patrick and I watched my new inappropriate dvd and ate pizza. Black cherry soda was involved. Sundays to relax, Sundays to piss money, and Sundays to feast! I cannot think of a better way to bring my East Coast summer to a close. Spring time....watch out.

Urban Arts Fest in Bushwick...Mark Batty Publisher

I went to one of the most unique festivals I haqve been to- an urban arts fest in brooklyn, . Lauren Seracene told me she would be there and could put me on the vip list, and that there was free beer and a dance party. Since I was going to New York for the weekend anyway, I figured I would check it out.

While unemployed, Lauren started a non-profit called Bags for the People with her friend. They take old clothing and make it into bags that people can use instead of plastic bags. Erin told me about it when she would see my efforts to use as small amount of plastic bags as possible. I am so happy for Lauren- they do sewing workshops, events throughout the city (including giving the bags out at a farmer's marke, and she is going to Jamaica for a month to bring the project down there (they were invited by the Jamaican government.

So, after what took forever, I get to the fest just as the rain subsides. I thought it was going to be at some park, but in fact it is at a new artist loft called Castle Braid. After seeing Laur and getting a can of brooklyn brewery beer, I strolled around. The music was good, the vendors were affordable andexcellent, and the graffitti getting put up was amazing. It was a half indoor/half outdoor thing in really cool space with a cool, diverse group. One of the vendors was selling these homeade, innappropriately funny magnets&ornaments. I had no need for those, but they were also selling dvd's of the same ilk. I got one. It is gross and imapprproiate much of the time (which is what I asked for when selecting). There is a lot of peeing involved, which just bolsters my penis envy. Eventually, Tumie came, the beer switched to Hoegarden, Laruen's sewing machine's went away, and the party began.

Met some cool people, including this chick who made me laugh a lot. I mentioned my new plan I formulated this past week to her. She did NOT like it. The plan was when I get older, like in my 50's or 60's, and am divorced or unmarried, I will switch to being a lesbian, that way it wll be easier to find new companionship. Since I am realizing how difficult it can be for a woman who is older to start a new romance with men. Especially with the hwhole double-standard on aging men vs. aging women. This girl, Michelle, she said I absolutely should not and cannot have this as my plan. She said it's fine if I decide to be with women, but to plan on it as a last resort could just paint the future on the wall. I realized she was right- I know aboutmanefesting things. So, my plan, which only lasted 4 days, is not my plan anymore.

So all in all, I am very glad I went to the party. I mentioned to Mark Batty and his wife that they should do a book on the graffitti art in valparaiso, Chile. Basically, the company is a publishing company for urban art genrre... I got this free book that is about a project called the bubble project, which took lots of little white bubble stickers (blank so people could add writing to them) and the stickers were put all over advertisements in New York. I laughed outloud a few times. Especially at the ad of Jennifer Lopez with a bubble coming out of her mouth that read : “I used to smoke crack on the J train”. I mean, she probably didn't, , but I laughed the hardest at that. So the company deals with art and social commentary. I like these things.

Photos by Vinny Cornelli

The After Effects of The Burn....

I was talking earlier to Tumas Luminous, a very close friend of mine from New York, whom I picked up in Reno and brought to his first Burning Man. He mentioned how he has been all fucked up since Burning Man- physically and mentally. He went through alot out there in the desert; he and his girlfriend broke up, and it really hit him hard.

I can tell you that I also had an emotional, mind-fuck out there as well. I can't pinpoint exactly what or why, but I am significantly different than I was before. I had gone years without crying, save once. Years. I mean, maybe a once-a-year teary-eyed minute or two,, but I don't even think that to be true. And as far as a good ball...nah. Well, it poured out of me throughout Burning Man this year. It was not even sad crying for the most part, which is strange. And often times other people I was with were doing the same. Strange. The air sometimes was so intense. Who knows. I can't tell you, cause I am not used to this. Anyhow, a few days after the Burn, I even felt the remnants of my emotional spooging. I cried again, but this time it was fueled by 10 hours of powerdrinking, absynthe from some weird jar, and pent up emotions regarding a suitor. A quintessential crying combo.

My mind is different now. I can't tell you how, but it is. I am more confused about life- my options, future, blahblah, etc. But I am more sure about what I do not want my life to be. And it's hard- seeing much of the world around me running their races. I step into the race occasionally to secure myself financially enough so I can step out of it again. And although the race I step into is closest to the fringe of races in general, it is nonetheless a race. I make money, I save money, I spend money, I make money, I save money, I spend money. I am a hamster in the wheel. I am not complaining- this is the garden of my great life! The wheel is a luxury wheel. I am by no means simply existing.

This time last year, I believed that yes, I am part of the matrix, but it is not necessarily a part of me. I didn't even know what a matrix was, perhaps because Keanu Reaves is my least favorite actor ever. What I really believed, or hoped, is that I am a part of traditional society, but traditional society is not a part of me. Now, I feel that there are just as many reasons that this is true as there are reasons for it being false. I especially realize the latter when I pay my cell phone bill every few months before they turn it off (even though I have the money to pay it on time). Or when I had a bunch of parking tickets in San Francisco that were later sent to my parent's house in New York. Or when I buy stuff, which I do often. I can't help it- I like stuff!

Now, I know in Guatemala, for instance, if I were to live there more permanently, I know I would still have a cell phone. But it would be pre-paid. And I would not have a car, but I would still pay to ride a bus. And I would still buy stuff- I told you- I like stuff. And yes, I know it is possible to do these things in the US (which I do- ridiing the chinatown bus to ny, riding 3 or 4 subways in an hour, taking the bus to New Paltz, turning a 3 hour car-ride into a 6 hour ordeal). I know it is possible here, but it is just easier to do away from here.

Cause no matter what I am doing here to distance myself from the rat race, I feel like there is just so much more here that reminds me I am in it. It is a conundrum or something. And I did not even plan writing about this rat race stuff here- I'm just noting the emotional after-effects from the desert.