Valentine's Day in CRAZYTOWN

"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Benjamin Franklin

Many of you might already know that..........


In CRAZYTOWN hearts are never broken, and chocolate (like all candy and soda) has life's essential vitamins and minerals. (And, as also stated in the Constitution, there is no need for prostitution because all residents' sexual desires are fulfilled....*with the exception of beastiality, pederasty, and necrophilia)


But did you know this .............

For every dollar spent on Valentine's Day merchandise outside of CRAZYTOWN, residents of CRAZYTOWN will donate $2 USD to the Human Fund's Center for Social Ineptitude.


In CRAZYTOWN, love is not all you need. In CRAZYTOWN, we know not the feeling of need, since we always get what we want.

And more importantly, as seen in Myk tumelo's cosm photo, you do not need love, you are love. This truth applies to those both inside and outside of CRAZYTOWN.


In CRAZYTOWN mythology, we believe cupid is a trans-gendered self-hating robot who fills his arrows with the tears of orphaned Chinese babies. (girls' tears only, of course)


In CRAZYTOWN, love is not blind. It sees perfectly fine, is really picky, and will settle for nothing less than what it deserves- the creme of the crop. Luckily, all residents of CRAZYTOWN surpass bestness.

In CRAZYTOWN, love does not conquer all. Fun does.

"Love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
Well, in CRAZYTOWN, love is like Seinfeld, Simpsons, or The Office- enjoyable, with many
episodes that we never tire of.

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine
Ehhh- better to have loved and never lost. In CRAZYTOWN, we don't lose things.

Best Regards,
The Benevolent Dictator