Valentine's Day in CRAZYTOWN

"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Benjamin Franklin

Many of you might already know that..........


In CRAZYTOWN hearts are never broken, and chocolate (like all candy and soda) has life's essential vitamins and minerals. (And, as also stated in the Constitution, there is no need for prostitution because all residents' sexual desires are fulfilled....*with the exception of beastiality, pederasty, and necrophilia)


But did you know this .............

For every dollar spent on Valentine's Day merchandise outside of CRAZYTOWN, residents of CRAZYTOWN will donate $2 USD to the Human Fund's Center for Social Ineptitude.


In CRAZYTOWN, love is not all you need. In CRAZYTOWN, we know not the feeling of need, since we always get what we want.

And more importantly, as seen in Myk tumelo's cosm photo, you do not need love, you are love. This truth applies to those both inside and outside of CRAZYTOWN.


In CRAZYTOWN mythology, we believe cupid is a trans-gendered self-hating robot who fills his arrows with the tears of orphaned Chinese babies. (girls' tears only, of course)


In CRAZYTOWN, love is not blind. It sees perfectly fine, is really picky, and will settle for nothing less than what it deserves- the creme of the crop. Luckily, all residents of CRAZYTOWN surpass bestness.

In CRAZYTOWN, love does not conquer all. Fun does.

"Love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
Well, in CRAZYTOWN, love is like Seinfeld, Simpsons, or The Office- enjoyable, with many
episodes that we never tire of.

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine
Ehhh- better to have loved and never lost. In CRAZYTOWN, we don't lose things.

Best Regards,
The Benevolent Dictator

The Whambulance is Better Than the Fire Truck

I hulahooped with fire on the 4th of July at a party. Almost everything went wrong and almost everything went right... AT THE SAME TIME! How is this possible?

My hulahoop was left out in the torrential downpour during CAMP CRAZYTOWN a few weeks ago. The wicks were wet forever. The new crappy fuel I got would not light the wicks at the party. The whole hoop was sticky- really sticky, fucking up my hands, because the tape on the inside all came off and there was gunk all stuck there. So, not the most ideal. And I burned my hair for the first time. Not badly. And I dropped the hoop a million times.

However, I did put on a show, and I did have a good time. It was hard to really get into what I was doing since I was so saddened and alarmed by the stuff that went wrong. But it was a good time, and the firetrucks did not have to come. Now, I will get goo-gone stuff to get the goo off the hoop, and I will not be using that sub-par fuel. By the way- thanks Daniel(l)e Viscosi and Reilly for helping me light the hoop. You were lifesavers. Oh, and the strawberry vodka I have been doing is TOO GOOD FOR ITS OWN GOOD. You have been forwarned. I went through 3 1.75 liter bottles of my infused vodka in 24 hours. 2 strawberry, one mango. Oh yeah, and a liter of pineapple the next day.

Also interesting was the day after July 4, when I was lucky enough to go on this boat shaped like a dragon. Wow! It was made from garbage found in the water in the 1980's by the Rockaway Artist Alliance. Cool people and a perfect day. I drank alot in the sun, which is unsual for my nocturnal self. Perhaps it was being on boat that contributed to my change of habit. I should be aware when I have my radiostation (and my pony) on my boat LALA.