on the way

So now, I am enroute to Salt Lake. The next challenge is getting safely to Reno, which is about 7 or 8 hours away. I am going to get my car checked out tomorrow I think, do some arts&crafts, hang with Erin, infuse 2 large buckets of vodka, prepare and leave Friday night to arrive Saturday am in Reno for more preparations.
By the way, the mp3 player I got in Austria had not been working when I last tried using it a few months ago. Now it is. Cameras&mp3 players have a bad history but I am glad that at this very moment even it it's just for the moment this TEAC thing is working and I am listening to Lee Scratch.

UPDATE: My car was not in storage in salt lake, it was in a parking lot, and half my stuff was gone. stuff stuff stuff. Although I really don't know what's missing besides the snowboard. The guy I stored it with (straight up officially with contract) says there are 2 rubbermaids missing. I don't think there are though.) Either way, I don't have to pay the 600$ to get the car out, but I do have to pay the 700$ to get it fixed. Since it won't run. The past few days have been quite trying, but I am really just letting it bounce off me. I have numbed myself.

Finally, A Stinging Bee

Well, I was waiting for it. My life was going to magically for a while there that I expected something to come and rain on the parade. And this past saturday, it did. It came in the form of thievery- the new fanny pack I decorated was kind of junk and always falling off my waist, so I put it in my larger bag. 10-15 minutes after I had last gone into it, it was gone. My larger bag was in my sight the whole, or so I thought. There was some kid who came and talked to me for a minute or two. This is when I think it happened. I've traveled 17 countries, most of which on my own, with no problems. I think there were pros involved in this. By the time I called my bank the next day to cancel my card, there were alreadys attempts of a 300$ radio shack purchase, 2 89$ subway card purchases, and a 4$ deli charge. The charges were denied. Within an hour of it being gone, I accepted it. Losing stuff that you and society have made almost a requirement for much of your life can be a huge downer. I decided I would not dwell, and I didn't. But, I will reminisce about what I lost here, since this is my place.
So, here is what I lost:
My 2 rings. One is from my grandmother who is dead. I have been wearing it since I was 13. The other I bought when I was 15. These were part of me. I took them off for a project and forgot to put them back on. I also liked to think that because I had these rings, which fit on both ring fingers, that there was no room for any more rings for those fingers, and I would stay happily single forever. Which may still be the case regardless of rings. But it was nice to have those spots already taken up.
Zip car rental card which unlocks the rental car I had for the weekend. This lead me to wait the next evening for 6 hours until past 1am in Queens for a tow truck that never showed up. The next day, another one arrived promptly.
Driver's license- which I needed to register the car I have out in Utah. This was to be done on Monday, and then I was to fly to Salt Lake with the plates on Tuesday am from Philly. Then drive to Burning Man in Reno. Instead of doing it in Brooklyn as planned I drove out to Long Island where my fabulous mother met me with my social security card. For some reason I had brought my passport to NY, just in case I needed it at the DMV. I am witchy like that.
Phone- I hope AT&T can give me back my numbers. I have insurance, and bought a pre-paid to be dealing with my burning man coordination.
Cash
People's cards including a DJ from upstate whom I want to play in NYC
essential oil coconut chapstick and a bottle cap with a good saying, which was to be given as gift
18$metro card
other fun stuff
In the end, everything is working out. I got my car registered, I extended the rental for the zipcar by a few hours, I had to spend a bit of money (I am so good at spending money, I should get paid for it), I met some interesting people while waiting in Queens for the tow truck that never showed up, and importantly, I saw how one person I know acted towards me in my time of distress.

Desiderata...A New Electronic Music Festival

I was fortunate enough to get to go to the first year of this electronic festival. My friend Veronica's fiancee Joey, whom I first met at Mountain Jam 2008 and really liked, had a gig doing glassblowing demonstrations.

So glad I went. I had the most amazing live music experience to date during Adam Deitch and this Dj Muran or something to that effect. They started out with dub step, which happens to course through my veins, and they ended up at one point incorporating what seemed like music from every culture, into one song, into the same moments.

It was also an absolute ball to hang with Veronica (&Joey, aka Jewseppe, and his friend Jeff who is also cool). I have known Veronica for years, and we have the same circle of friends, have hung out many times in group form, but it was especiially excellent hanging out of our usual element after both of us having more insight into ourselveses.

I also met some amazing people from upstate/Utica area. This chick Angel and I really hit if off. She is awesome. Seriously.
By the way, the festival was on this estate with an old, dilapidated castle. I guess the property is owned by Jamaicans now, but it was owned by a Russian guy. There were some beautiful views. The security seemed to be done by Russian people, and there were a lot of people of Russian or Eastern European descent, and lots of Israelis (I believe that hacidic Jews or Israelis were organizing the festival). Anyhow, what was really strange was that Crystal Method got their power shut off, and for a half hour, the two Crystal Method guys were really upset and waiting for it to get turned back on. They were pissed, as they should be- here they are, performing as the headliner, and for some strange, fucked up, politically-fueled reason they can't play. Such is life.

It was the strangest festival I have been to ever- there was no atm, there was no ice for sale, there were 2 tents selling food and one had beer in bottle for sale. Trance dominated latenight into the day on the main stage, so of course I enjoyed the Renegade stage with the electro, breakbeats, etc. It was kind of like taking a vacation to Europe for a festival. So is this the sort of thing that Rainer and Larsen are used to? There was also this fabulous area with all this art& fun stuff, organized by these nice freako people from the Copycat Theater in Baltimore. Should I ever go through Baltimore, I will be sure to check them out. At the main stage, they also had these globes for visuals to be projected upon..- pretty cool.

All in all, it was a very special time at a very special place.

Wow, what an eventful afternoon. I went to an amazing asianfood superstore. Dangerous. Of course, I bought way too much stuff I did not need but will definitely enjoy. Other places that are dangerous for me to walk into include Michael's Arts&Crafts and the duty-free liquor shop at the airport. These places are my downfall, for real.

Then, I was severely harassed in broad daylight outside of a liquor store by a truck full of ghetto boys in camden just hanging around. new jersey ;(

Then, i couldn't find a parking space in Philly. Parallel parking a long stupid car like my mom's is annoying. And people in Philly are not nearly as nice as they are in New York. it is official.

So I crashed into a car. Or two, as I thought at first. Neither of the cars had anyone in them, since they were parked on a strange narrow side street. Yeah, I used to drive all the time everywhere. not sure what happened. I could not drive away, as some guy was hanging around making sure I would not drive away. Plus, I don't do that anyway. Not that this has happened before. So I called my friend Rachel, since I was incapable of doing anything in my irrational state of mind. I was shaking too much to hold a pen to write notes to leave. My parents would not be pleased. Rachel shows up and we discover that one car had a big smash up with rust from a previous accident, and that in fact, I only hit on car, we think. I guess I hit the one car twice and thought it was 2 cars. I guess I really am retarded. So, After some thinking, I call the philly cops to come check out the car(s). And, the chick, oh boy, I LOVE THIS CHICK COP, in the report, which is NOT an accident report, I possibly grazed the mirror of the second car. That's it. The one time when it really payed off to involve the authorities. She had me reverse my car and as it turns out maybe I really didn't hit either car too much. Just the mirror, " Maybe".So, I went from thinking I would be leaving 2 notes telling these people i will pay them anything not to involve my parents' insurance company to having an official report saying maybe I hit the prius mirror (which is retractable).

When I thought I'd be paying thousands of dollars for being retarded, I still had visions of Burning Man, and no intention of cancelling that. I told myself 'well, you did it last year and were broke and you will do it again should you have to". But, I don't have to. all cause I called the cops. the cop even laughed every now and then. The weirdest thing was I was not on drugs, but felt like I was on drugs after the multi-uni-weirdo-fender maybe-not bender(s) happened.Finally, good parking spot right across from "accident(s). I don't have to move my car until I leave this place.

My big computer is dead, but my computer nerd roomate (Rachel, friend from above) hit it a bunch and it turned on just enough to get my work portfolio pictures off, which are the only things I have not really backed up but sort of the most important. i can't blame my computer- she is so old, and has been AROUND the block a zillion times. I am tempted to give her a real memoriam, or at least, some flowers. Rachel said "if you spank your computer a bunch, it might turn on". like owner, like computer. And my tiny computer's screen is cracked... badly. So if you see typos, which you won't too often, that is why.

I also learned about this jetblue special for flights, but at first, in the text message I got about it, I thought it was for a year and not a month. I went crazy, running around half naked with my debit card, dizzy, TOO excited. Now I know the terms and it will not work out for me, but I was estatic for a minute and it felt nice.And so, I am going to make an udon noodle soup, with bok choy, scallion, spicy red pepper, and either a miso base or a tom yum goong thai base. or a simple soy&red pepper base. garlic and tofu are also involved.

I spoke with an AMAZING chick I met at a festival. And with Myk Tumelo, with whom I have decided to throw a party with in NY at the end of September. Pick Your Poison Potluck. Perhaps.What an eventful afternoon.

All Points West... free tickets thanks to Lauren Seracene.

Alright, Lauren Seracene hooked it up with free tickets for myself, Erin, and this crazy kid Brett to go to all 3 days of All Points West, a 3-day, no camping, festival in NJ. Going for free was amazing- if I actually had to pay for a ticket, I would not.

Here are some good points of All Points:

-great lineup varying from Jay-Z, gogol bordello, pharcyde (who put on a really funny&entertaining performance), kool keith, mstrkrft, coldplay, vampire weekend (so impressed with, in addition to gogol bordello), tool, list goes on.

-some cool sculptures

- full-time electronic area with GREAT music by dolab

- great view of manhattan skyline&statue of liberty

- nice vibe overall in crowd; douchebag level was low

- i got a veggie jalopeno corndog, which is impressive

OK, just some the bad points:

- public transportation took WAY too long for where it is, and is way too complicated, with many transfers, etc

- not enough portapotties, AT ALL> the lines had literally 50 people waiting at times; a line that winded across the span of the concert field

- beer garden is the only place to drink booze& on top of it, it is way too far from any stages to benefit drinkers

- garbage cans were made out of cardboard, for a festival that rained 2 of 3 days

-recycling not up to par, if even existent at all

- large screens would list who played previously, which is of no help to concert-goers looking to see what's next where

-after arriving from public transportation, there is a 1+mile walk to the actual concert

-No parking if you drive

- Much of the food& other areas were set up so you could hear 2 of the stages at once, which sucks if you have ears

- No where to do a renegade piss/ no trees hide behind

- My luxury sandals were stolen when I was busy

As I said before, I very much enjoyed myself. But if you are going to throw a festival, you should know what you are doing, and if you don't, then do some research. I guess people from the city just don't know any better, so the All Points people don't have to go by the standards I am used to. There really were like 99 reasons why the festival sucked

And by the way, I missed Sunday, cause it was torrential downpour. Instead I had an amazing time at these Turkish/Russian baths. Then indian food at a weirdo place. I laughed so much i ended up not being able to stand by the end of the evening. I was literally falling on the ground cause I could not stand up.

Greatest Time as Usual

Alright, Camp Bisco is an electronic festival I have been attending for years, and will continue to do so, probably forever. I will not volunteer at it, because I will not jeopardize fulfilling my maximum level of absolute enjoyment there. And so, as usual, best time ever. Don't forget CRAZYTOWN was founded during Camp Bisco a few years ago, and now serves as a model to all benevolent and malicious dictatorships, universally.

I missed some of the music I went for (too much rain&exhaustion), but in exchange discovered artisits I did not know about. BOOMBOX really blew me away. I also met some great people, and got down with an old friend Vanessa with whom I don't get down with too often.

On the otherhand, Gathering of the Vibes, which I have also attended for years, I can deal with having to compromise my time&fun a bit. My friend Kevin (who happens to be the best) ran a beer tent, which happened to be the cool beer tent, with magic hat, sierra nevada, and awesome people. He got Erin&I in early for volunteering, and we were all set to float around selling beer. We painted a bunch before the festival even started, and I created this survey, sponsored by the FDA, the Fruity Disco Alliance, to find out people's favorite fruits. Why? Because I felt like it. It is what I have been asking people for years. I particularly like getting people to think about the things they love and enjoy.

Strawberry won, and pineapple, banana and mango came in 2nd basically. I'm not sure, there was a huge bar graph I did with all of the results. I was happy and surprised at teh banana, because before I did the survey, I thought banana did nto get as much credit as it should. Thiis, I gathered from my informal surveys.

I had another ball, all and all, at Gathering. I took it pretty easy, really. Technically, I even took it easy at Bisco. Believe it or not.

cookies

The grocery store knows we are willing to pay top dollar for certain cookies, and so, they won't produce store-brand versions. It is a pretty smart route. I really wanted to buy a generic, cheap brand of chocolate, minty cookies. Also known as thin mints. Instead, I spent 4$ on a small package of Keebler grasshoppers. Which are extra delectable when kept in the freezer. I just had to have them, and the grocery store knows this. And so, as mentioned above, they do not sell a cheap version. They capitalize on my weakness. Which is understandable, since they are a corporation.

And then, there are those humans (whom I do not appreciate); those people who capitalize on weakness.

The Whambulance is Better Than the Fire Truck

I hulahooped with fire on the 4th of July at a party. Almost everything went wrong and almost everything went right... AT THE SAME TIME! How is this possible?

My hulahoop was left out in the torrential downpour during CAMP CRAZYTOWN a few weeks ago. The wicks were wet forever. The new crappy fuel I got would not light the wicks at the party. The whole hoop was sticky- really sticky, fucking up my hands, because the tape on the inside all came off and there was gunk all stuck there. So, not the most ideal. And I burned my hair for the first time. Not badly. And I dropped the hoop a million times.

However, I did put on a show, and I did have a good time. It was hard to really get into what I was doing since I was so saddened and alarmed by the stuff that went wrong. But it was a good time, and the firetrucks did not have to come. Now, I will get goo-gone stuff to get the goo off the hoop, and I will not be using that sub-par fuel. By the way- thanks Daniel(l)e Viscosi and Reilly for helping me light the hoop. You were lifesavers. Oh, and the strawberry vodka I have been doing is TOO GOOD FOR ITS OWN GOOD. You have been forwarned. I went through 3 1.75 liter bottles of my infused vodka in 24 hours. 2 strawberry, one mango. Oh yeah, and a liter of pineapple the next day.

Also interesting was the day after July 4, when I was lucky enough to go on this boat shaped like a dragon. Wow! It was made from garbage found in the water in the 1980's by the Rockaway Artist Alliance. Cool people and a perfect day. I drank alot in the sun, which is unsual for my nocturnal self. Perhaps it was being on boat that contributed to my change of habit. I should be aware when I have my radiostation (and my pony) on my boat LALA.

The Mountain "Hut"

After another delicious feast for lunch, Rainer and I went up to what he calls a “hut”, but really, it is a cabin. A half hour drive or so from their house, up into the Alps, is his family's amazing escape place. We were in mountains maybe the biggest I have been in...not sure how they compare to the ones near Snowbird in Utah or in Colorado except they are greener. There were 2 places where we drove across water from melting snow that gushed across the road. We passed some rivers and streams, one of which passes right by their picture-perfect “hut”. For a few days I hung out on the set of Heidi, seriously. Or the Sound of Music. One of those alpine, kitchy films with a lot of blond people.

There is a spigot with water that runs right from the mountain, an outhouse, a fireplace to warm the place, a wrap-around porch, you know the deal. We ate lots of food including this smoked pork that is from the region we were in (Corinthia). It was ooooh so good, and kind of tasted like smoked salmon. There was this window in between the main room and the kitchen, and it had a bell you could ring to let your servant know you needed something. Or maybe the servant rings it to let you know the food is ready. Either way, I named it the glory hole. Got trashed off of wine and pear shnapps, playing with strange-looking cards by candlelight. At night, all these cows came and were mooing really loudly.

Corinthia, Austria

We are at Rainer's parent's house, which is where he lives when he is not traveling. It is in a small village in a valley amidst the mountains of Southern Austria. An hour after we had bread with good cheese, his mom made a feast for lunch- pork (oh I love pork!), this stuff where the name sounds like Canoodle, as in people kanoodling together, and some other stuff, complete with candles. Delicious. I always knew Rainer ate a lot, and now I understand why.
Along with some beer, we drank some pear shnapps, then his parents brought us to this river that has cut through a narrow rock gorge. There is a walkway built alongside the river and frequent waterfalls, and you walk up the river in between the tall walls of rocks for an hour or so. Cool place. We got some drinks on the way home, then ate some vanilla icecream with pumpkin oil on top. Oh, that was good.
By the way, my sister has been reading this blog and says “you talk about food ALOT”, to which I said “of course I do- everyday I look forward to the food I will eat and enjoy, and technically, I was a professional chef for a brief time”. So, yes, I will talk about food a lot.

A Bit of Trouble At The Border

Rainer has convinced me to go to Austria. I was a bit hesitant, but since it is clear that we are now platonic, I figured, OK. Why not? When leaving Croatia to enter Slovenia and the E.U., Croatian border guys gave us a bit of trouble. Rainer has long dreads. I am American. They had us pull over and searched everything for twenty minutes. The one guy in a suit was really intrigued by the jumbo-size chapstick with the silhouhette of a sexy girl on it. The other guy was pretty much a giant, and scary. They eventually let us go, and at the E.U. Slovenia crossing they let us in, no problem. After dealing with authorities, which is nerve-wracking even when you have nothing to hide, we WOOHOO'd as we made out way across the border. Our glee was a bit too soon... Rainer got pulled over for speeding a minute or two later. Everything was fine though, after he paid the 40 euros for the ticket. Apparently, you can just pay cash for tickets in the E.U.

Rainer and I have had some interesting experiences at borders. Going from Guatemala to Mexico, the shuttle we were in (wasted out of our minds, having not slept the night before) stopped before the border and had everyone get out and walk almost a mile across into Mexico. Mexico is very tight with their border control with Guatemala, and so another shuttle run by the Mexican counterpart of whatever company we used picked us up once we were in Mexico.

Another time, we were in Argentina and for just a little but more than the bus, we took a cab with our wine in the trunk across the border into Brasil. Not any crazy amount or anything- just for us personally, but we did not want to run the risk of giving it up. I had, after all, just been dealing with some bullshit hassle for a few days with the consulate and visa blahblah because Brasil likes to reciprocate the pain in the ass the US causes foreign travelers. And I just remembered- there was the one time I went to Canada, and declared that I had pepper spray, which they took away from me (fine- it just means I need to buy more when I return to ghetto Philly). But then they separated me from everyone else on the bus to Montreal and searched my stuff unfruitfully for a half hour, trying to be all tough Canadians. As I now say in German.... LONG VIE LICK.....BORING!

Land Of A Thousand Waterfalls... Plitvice Lakes

Today, we went to the Plitvice Lakes National Park, even though it was gray and rainy out. Rainer was vascillating about whether or not he wanted to go, once we were there. I know and he knows that he can be a complainer sometimes, so I told him he could just wait for me, and chill in his warm, dry, comfortable car. We had camped out for 2 nights just a mile from this place, and judging by the food, I will be in no hurry to return to Croatia, so there was no way I was not going to see this place.

So, I was on my own. This place was really beautiful; amazing, actually. There really are thousands of waterfalls; they just seem to shoot out from everywhere as you hike down from lake to lake. The most interesting thing I saw was a waterfall that was maybe four feet or so in width. Its water coursed though a hole in the ground. I have never seen a waterfall shoot straight through the ground in that way.

Despite the rain, the lakes were still very aquamarine. The whole place reminded me a lot of Semuc Campey in Guatemala, and in some parts, of Iguazu Falls, where Argentina, Brasil, and Paraguay meet. I have never been to Niagara Falls, even though I am from New York. Some day.

From the Sea to the Mountains

Rainer picked me up, and we both favored going inland to the mountains, rather than hang on the coast. My friend Trent had told me about these lakes in Croatia, and I looked them up on the internet. We made our way to the area and drove down this desolate tiny dirt road until we found a good place to camp. You could tell that no cars go down this road for days at a time, so we just left the car parked in the road and played our music as loud as we wanted. I drank tons of wine, napped by the fire, then went to sleep.

The next day was GRAY and cold. Seriously, not my favorite, especially since these lakes are aquamarine and would shine brilliantly under the sun. It was also Sunday; stores to buy food are closed and only restaurants are open. We went to this restaurant that had wifi, and stayed for hours. The waitor was a teenager and very nervous; it must have been one of his first days. I really ended up liking the mushroom soup, so, in the course of the 4 hours or so that we were there, I ordered 3. For those of you who do not know me- soup is my favorite food. And when you find something that you love in a country with mostly stuff that is not appetizing to you, stick with it, right? They also had pumpkin oil, which tasted and smelled like peanuts. I liked it; Rainer says the kind he has at home is even better.

I am not sure what I am going to do after we leave Croatia. I can get a ride back to Northern Italy, I can go to Austria, or I can go somewhere else and fly back to Rome just in time for my flight. I was kind of thinking it might be cool to take the train somewhere and catch a flight back. Like Prague or Budapest, or someplace. Or maybe, I could go to Milan and firehoop on the street for money, like I planned, you know?
I guess we'll see.

Bidding Farewell

The Swiss are moving on more south, down the Coast, and I will not be joining them, as I can get a ride closer to where I need to fly from in a week and a half. Oh, it has been a ball! Beforehand, I really was not sure how long I would want to hang with them, but it turned out to be so much fun. Larsen is going to come to New York (but not just yet since the Crazy Swiss Fire Bus continues til October and then he wants to go to Argentina to find some treasure). He will be quite a hit with my friends and family; I cannot wait. It will be the best comedy performed live wherever he goes, for whomever is around him.

My former suitor Rainer, from Austria, will be picking me up on his way back from teaching at a tennis camp in Croatia. Not sure what the plan is; I need to be in Rome by the 9th, and he flies to Thailand out of Vienna a day or two after me, so maybe we will hang for a few days, and get me closer to where I need to be. I use the term former suitor because at this time, we both have our hands in some other cookie jars, and I think we will be enjoying eachother's platonic company.

VIP PARTY!!!!

Portraits of Very Important People



Larsen and I have been planning a VIP party. The VIP room is the luxurious room in the back of the camper. By room, I mean bed from wall to wall, with a curtain, and the ability to sit up or even stand. We decided we are going to throw a VIP party, with fancy drinks, and invitations. The invitations went to Prisco, Rahel, and Bjorn, and included:

-state of the art light system (which is actually this headlam that has a strobe setting)
-delicious ice cold vodka drinks (until this point, we had been drinking wine and beer, no ice. And...I LIKE COLD BEVERAGES...so the ice was of utmost importance)
-phantastich mode... aka fantastic fashion
-XXX and non-XXX cinema (played on the laptop)


Now for the setting- we went more south on the Adriatic Coast. Senj is a small touristy town, much of which is encompassed by a fortress-style wall. We camped in this sort of parking lot on the water, with a rocky beach and a sort of boardwalk. I built a really good dam or cooler in the water with rocks, so even after a few hours when the water rose, some of the beverages I'd put in were still secure and cold. I just wanted to make sure that we had cold beverages, just in case we could not find ice.

And finding ice in this town in Croatia, oh boy, what a feat. I searched 13 places and finally, after some inquiry and at least an hour, the gas station had bags of ice. WOO HOO! The VIP party, as are all of my parties, and contingent upon ice cold fancy cocktails. And so, I wrote up a VIP drink menu, which we taped outside of the VIP window, where we would be serving our guests. All were available sprudlen (fizzy)

Eyes of The World: vodka with this orange, carrot, lemon juice. Named because it said “For Better Sight” on the carton.
Red Ruby Slipper- Special blood-red Orangina with vodka
Hawaiin Dreamcatcher- Pineapple juice and vodka. By far, the most popular, fortunately since we had lots of pineapple juice
Blue something blahblah- I forget the name now, but pomengranate and blueberry juice with vodka and club soda)
Prosecco
Cabernet Sauvignon

Not on the menu, but served that evening were:
Bluebird, Bluebird, Through My Window- Prosecco with a splash of the blueberrypomengranate juice

Absynth

I was the dj for the night- Afro-Cuban Jazz Project, Jazz Mandolin Project, and Amon Tobin. Larsen cooked this Swiss food that was great, and I did the gorgonzola, cream cheese and scallion dip I love. We dined as the sun was setting over the sea; as all people should when they are VIP.

This older Austrian couple hung with us for a long time. I talked to the bottle blond biker-ish lady a bit; she was nice enough. The guy I did not talk to. But apparently, he had made some comments to Rahel that did not please her to say the least. And by the end of the smash hit VIP evening, I realized he was one of those older guys who is gay but will never ever be able to admit it to himself. The next day, they had left before we awoke, and he had left a letter thanking us on the camper. Included was his business card...............massage therapist.

The day after the VIP party, I ate grilled squid stuffed with cheese and ham. I ate it, and it was not horrible, but when I think of it now, I am grossed out. Honestly, the food in Croatia has not been that good. And I am not picky, really. Much of it seems to be a strange combination or variation of dishes typical to the countries surrounding it. And in addition to the dishes not being cheap (expensive, actually, especially for what they are), they give you bread (which is usually not good bread) and they they charge you for it, when you do not ask for it and do not eat it. So, not impressed. And at one place, you could tell the guy was really trying to get us to order expensive crap. This was the same place that charged like 5 or 6$ for a large mug of coke.

Creepy Spot in Croatia

Today it rained, and we left for Croatia. We are camping near some place I am too lazy to find the name of right now- this spot is strange. There are TONS of bungaloes and empty campers; as it turns out, the ownership is changing hands in a week or two. Not sure what that means exactly, but there are electric hookups and we are right near the water. It feels creepy here- all these old, empty places with no one here in the high tourist season.

We all left to go to the far away town for a bar/restaurant, because some of the Swiss want to see some football soccer game. Rahel and I took bikes in case we wanted to leave early. Well, there was the craziest of ominous winds and I would say maybe 2 thirds the way there, I told them I was going back to the camper. If they want to watch sports and drink, let them, but I will not expend my energy, pedaling with little gain except getting practically blown over, just so I can eat, drink a few blahblahs and return in the stormy dark to where I started from. If the bar they were at happened to be showing a Curb Your Enthousiasm marathon, or Beverly Hills 90210- no problem. But, come on.

And so, I went back. And..... Wow, AMAZING sunset. The tiny beach, the sailboats, the mountains across the clear turquoise water (and I cannot forget, the nearby industrial something, perhaps powerplant) had the backdrop of electrified rainbow sherbert. It was ridiculous. I do not have a camera; mine is being repaired by fuji and the one I bought from the pawn shop didn't work ;(. So I took the one I could find in the camper, took some great pictures, and the camera case blew away. I was really scared for a minute or two about having to tell whomever's it is that I used their camera and lost the case. But, I found it crammed between some rocks. I told you the wind was crazy. Even my beer blew away. It was almost full and a tall boy.

Another Night In Slovenia (And Another Little Camper Crashing Situation)

Last night, we stayed at another place in Slovenia. Bjorn made quite the entrance. He pretty much slightly crashed the camper, with ease, into part of a house or porch or something... the town cop´s house as it turned out. The cop, who does not speak English or German, told the lady who owned the camp place to tell him he was a bad driver. Bjorn agreed, and then the matter was resolved.

The place was a family farm with a bit of a camping area. The lady who we dealt with spoke great English, and had the stature and haircut of a rotund 13 year-old boy, but when I saw her face I must say had beautiful features. Strange (cause at first I thought she was a boy, but it turned out she was a short, hefty, beautiful woman). There was a barn, some houses, fields, mountains, and... this tiny white creepy church. I only call it creepy cause the setup of the place was a small family compound, not a village, yet there was a tiny white church. Or maybe it just had a cross on it for decoration. A quarter a mile away, there was a smaller white, new building with a cross on it (it was the size of a closet, whereas the first was the size of a room). If you have read my previous posts, you can gather an idea on my feelings of organized religion intertwined with politricks. There were 5 or 6 black cats, whom I loved (but the 4 I dealt with all had colds and sounded like sleeping fat kids when I pet them.)

Slovenia Is My Favorite Place So Far, Definitely

(top picture is of this rotten milk we left out in view of the field we were camped in, the milk which later larsen peed in when he was drunk. next is larsen, known to his friends as "lazy" or something sounding quite like it. below that is the great food we had, and a picture of the road just where we got stuck, then a picture of the tractor that had to pull us out, then a picture of the camper, stuck between a pile of rocks and a guard rail)

What a pleasant surprise Slovenia is. It is a hidden jewel of Europe. It is a very small country next to Italy, and above Croatia. If I remember correctly, it is the setting for the movie Hostel. Well, it is nothing like the movie. I am almost mad at that movie for portraying such a beautiful place in a creepy light.

We went to these HUGE caves (Park Skocjanske), and it was one of the coolest places I have ever been. Astoundingly so. Indiana Jones, for real. The landscape of where we are bears a striking resemblance to upstate New York. Like the Catskills or the Adirondacks.

After the camper got stuck going down a hill, wedged between rocks and a guard rail, we had to have a farmer pull us out with a tractor. It was silly, and a one of a kind moment. We are camping at an amazing place. Next to a tiny waterfall, river, in a field of tiny purple wildflowers, amidst a mountain. Yeah, it is so amazing I must write a specific entry about this spot, as free advertising to the lady who owns the place. I used her internet (which is how I found out about my Uncle Brian's death), and her husband had just harvested some of their favorite mushrooms. She invited me to eat the mushrooms in eggs and onions, and drink beer. It was great. So yeah, entry will be a little travel review piece as thanks for it her being so nice and it being so beautiful here. Plus, I notice she does arts&crafts.

I brought this blowup tube and sat in the river, just under the tiny waterfall that is next to where we were camped. I ate pretzels and read this non-fiction book I bought in Tuscany about a serial killer in the villages surrounding Florence. I am done with that book now (The Monster of Florence)... it was long and good. I have one more- The Bonfire of the Vanities, that will hopefully last me through my remaining time. If there was no such thing as internet tv and arts&crafts, there would be nothing left for me to do in Philadelphia. We used this pink canoe on the river. We also had the best dinner.... some sort of meat (pork, maybe, oh my favorite!) with some sort of baconish thing on top, then cheese on top, with tomato stuff all up in it. And, saffron mushroom risotto. Larsen made the former and Prisco made the latter, and they were both AMAZING. Oh, by the way, the wine made in Slovenia is not as bad as I expected at all. It is totally drinkable.

To end the night, another game of Risk was played. The first time I played with these people, I almost won. I held the power for much of the game. But on this evening, Lady Luck was not so kind. So I drank a 2 euro bottle of brut, and gave up. Then, as the game was winding down, we all did our fire stuff in the field. It was great. Rahel, who had just tried the firehoop a week or two ago, is getting less afraid and better acquainted. She was particularly fabulous while James Brown was playing. Although I sort of thought we would have been doing fireshows on the street while I was on this trip, we have not, and I am ok with that, as I am having a ball.

Dujceva Domacija

This place is amazing. Just 10 or so minutes away from the Skocjan caves, there is camping amongst trees, a field, river (with free use of a canoe), a tiny waterfall, horses to ride, electricity hook-ups and more. For camping, there are nice bathrooms, hot showers, hot water for washing dishes (not the case with other places we have stayed). The women who runs the place is the best, and she runs a great hotel on the property. The price was quite reasonable, so I endulged. The rooms smelled amazing (my nose rules me at times), there are common balconies with mountain views, adorable hand-crafted décor, and internet access if you need. You could call it a boutique hotel, but better yet, it is a boutique guesthouse. Three thumbs up.

Rotten Mood Over; Life Evaluation Successful

Yesterday was the day after the bad mood. I found out my uncle died. He was 55; it was probably a heart attack. Death of someone I know always makes me evaluate what I am doing in life, and whether it is what I really want to be doing. And.... I AM!
NOTE: Maybe my bad mood came due to the death of my uncle, and I had yet to realize it.

So I discussed with Larsen a woman's moods and everything is fine. Everyone else was cool already with my bad mood. We drove to the nearest town to get food and water for the day and night, and NOTHING was open. We went to the next town, which was supposed to be bigger and NOTHING was open. It's Sunday, and usually things are closed, but there was no one even around in the towns. Strange. Totally the opposite of what I know from the US. We ended up driving back to Italy, which is only 20 minutes or so away. We found the one supermarket open in the city of Trieste. Nice.

ALERT TO ALL MEN

Yesterday, I awoke from my nap while the camper was driving in Slovenia. I had been wanting some real food all day, without success, and I opened my eyes into a horrible mood. Now, for me this happens a few times a year... the sort of mood that you feel has invaded your body- it captures my normally jovial spirit and replaces it with a scowling bitch. I hate this feeling, but this is life.

All women know of this mood- some more often than others. In addition to all the other fabulous features we enjoy as women (bleeding, pms, gross childbirth, sexual assault, societal double standards regarding everything from power, sex, aging etc.), we get to have unexplainable moods. WOO HOO!

And so, men whom have grown up with sisters or around a lot of women are aware of this, and accept it as truth, like rain, wind, and sun. This is life. Then, there are the other men. These men (or boys, I suppose) have either not spent enough consecutive time with women to know that this is normal, or they are too juvenile to accept it as normal. My crazy swiss friend Larsen happens to be the latter sort, I believe. There has previously been additional female wrath from Rahel, to which he did not seem to accept as a woman's typical mood swings. Now there is me, and I am quite familiar with myself, and know that along with glory (me) there must be blood (my bad mood). I also will include that I am used to being alone every day for a fair share, during which I recharge my social batteries and spirit. And additionally, I am used to running my own show- traveling around the world choosing whatever I want to do and wherever I want to go. On this trip, I have had no time alone and the Swiss to make virtually every decision. So throw that in a glass with the standard sauce of female foul mood and you have quite a nasty cocktail.

NOW HERE IS SOME ADVICE:
If there is a woman you have to be around when she is in a horrible mood, and you go to a store before it closes to buy yourself beer, and she likes beer, has money to give you, and enjoys getting drunk, GET HER SOME FUCKING BEER. It will be a nice gesture, the beer could help alleviate her mood, and if she does not drink it, you, being the complete alcoholic you are, can drink it. No problem.

And so, in some final words regarding the wrath of women- do not take it personally. DO NOT disregard a bad mood as simply crazy, selfish, etc. and dismiss the individual as inferior. Accept it as we women do; something we do not quite understand, nor like, but something we must live with as being the unfortunate givers of all that is life.

To reiterate this in terms for non-native english speakers: Women have bad moods. Women have babies. A woman had you. You are on this earth ONLY because of women. Respect the workings of a woman that wind their way throughout the world.

MOSQUITOES

Ok, so I have this book full of questions, and one of them is, or something to this effect:
If you could make any animal on the planet extinct, which would it be?

I asked my friend Julia this question, maybe she was the first for this question, and she said mosquitoes. I was impressed... It had never dawned on me. Not that I had been thinking about this question for much time anyhow.

So, currently, estimated research shows that I have 3.4 million mosquito bites on my body. They seem to have congregated around my lower ass. Mostly from after the Snoopy Disco outside of Venice, when I was too drunk to feel their bites through the chairs), legs. Ankles, everywhere. Oh, the torture.

Trieste

We left the Venice for Trieste, an Italian city that is very near the Slovenian border. Went to this castle on the Adriatic Sea. Then to the Aunt of Larsen's dad (his dad is originally from Trieste). She cooked for us but just watched us eat, and told me a few times I ate too slow. It was pretty hard to understand her, since I do not really speak Italian, and she uses a dialect on top of it. This dinner experience was completely the opposite of the dinner experience with Larsen's other relatives, just outside of Rome. Awkard, boring, and FULL of language barriers. I can tell you though, that this lady got ripped off twice while visiting New York. Once, with the cab from the airport, and I forget the other time. Or maybe, I never got the full story in the first place. Who knows.

After, we played Risk. I have only played once or twice, over 10 years ago. This time, I reigned as most powerful for much of the game, and almost won. Should have won, really. But.....one must not rush genius. I used to think that Swiss people were all geniuses. Nope, they are just like anyone else. With nice watches, chocolate, and special banks.

Venice

We are camping just across the water from Venice, and went there today. It was really cool, and didn't really smell like I heard it did. I actually didn't smell anything bad at all. I worked some wonders with an attractive, older gondola driver and we got a bit of a deal. I got to steer the gondola. It apparently takes 2 years of school or something before you can get your gondola driving license. It would be the best job ever; paying really well, allowing you to meet people from all over, and getting to yell to all your gondola friends that you pass. Also, I saw the church where the body of the stolen saint is, but there was a line and much better things to see, so I did not go in.

There was also a disco at the campground. Rahel and Bjorn rented a hotel room in Venice so they could fuck, so Prisco, Larsen, and myself got wasted and went to the disco. Prisco expected it to be what he called a "Snoopy Disco". Apparently, when he was young, he went to a disco for kids that played music from peanuts cartoons. He danced. oh how cute.

It was a snoopy disco, kind of, but instead of little kids, there were big kids... TONS of drunk barely legal english kids running around cross-dressing, wearing spandex wrestling onesies, etc.

Every Now And Then I Like to Play A Trick

We are on our way to Venice... today there was a lot of driving, and the mountains are grander now than the large hills before. We tried to go to an amusement park, we saw on the highway, because Larsen really likes “octobons” (sounds like autobon). Aka rollercoasters. I have been tricking him since into thinking the english word is “rollersoaker”, not rollercoaster. He keeps saying rollercoaster anyway cause the word is in his brain correctly, but I am trying to change that. Oh, he also says “make satisfaction” for masterbate. Seriously. I guess he got it from the Rolling Stones song or something, and technically, it is right. And too funny.

The park was closing soon, and we eventually stopped in the mountains for really good food. Oh, it was so good- my pasta had gorgonzola cream sauce. I did not like the walnuts in it. And I had raw veal (carpacchio) for the first time. And I was ok with it. The town we ended up parking in had canals and bridges like Venice. It was pretty. And pretty boring too. Tomorrow we camp near Venice and take care of some business- computer stuff (I still have to cancel my verizon for my remaining trip,

Tuscany

We are in Tuscany. It is pretty, as expected. We tried driving through this tiny town, and this lady cop who was hot stopped us, and tried for a half hour to give Larsen a ticket for driving the large camper through the town, which apparently prohibits this. She had her ticket pad out and everything, saying it would be 60 or 70 Euros. He pretended he didn't understand and didn't speak Spanish (which would have helped since she only spoke Italian), and after a while, she just gave up. We left, and went to Montelcino- a little town famous for its wine, apparently. It was more touristy and less quaint than the place we were in before. There was a perfume shop, where I sprayed myself with 6 perfumes. We parked in the countryside for the night, ate veal scallopini (cooked by Larsen under my guidance), pasta salad (my 3rd hit, and so easy), mushrooms in parmesan, and drank lots of wine from the nearest restaurant.

Bolsena

We left Rome for lake in the hills. Lake Bolsena has a town that shares its name. It met all the stereotypes I held for small-town Italy; beautifully quaint archetecture, narrow, winding,cobblestone streets, the best produce, and of course, no where to get food for much of the day and night. Lazy Italians. There is a waterfront, with restaurants and bars. And lots of places to get gelato. Basically, every other storefront in the Italy I have seen is a gelateria.
The place with a pool table (that I did ok on) has one euro wine. Nice. Saturday, I made the soup I like, with red peppers I roast, beans, and some vegetables. It was a hit.

The Swiss people have never been fishing before, and they have 2 poles from their friends.Today, Larsen and I brought one down to the water. He also brought some gross worms that Bjorn bought the previous night. The worms were meal worms- tiny, not the size worms that I think people fish with. And when I would go fishing growing up, we would use fish as bait, or fake lures. Not worms. They gross me out. Anyhow, I was all ready to teach him how to cast, when he insisted one baiting the hook. But he wouldn't touch the worms. I really didn't want to either. He said he would get me a Long Island iced tea if I did it. I tried, but it did not happen. The worms were too small to get on the hook, and they were squirming around so much I couldn't hold on to them for more than 15 seconds. No Long Island. And no more fishing today, since Larsen did not want to do anything for practice. He is under the impression that people who go fishing actually catch fish. Which I know is the case sometimes, but in this lake, nope.

I made 2 pastas- one with veggies in a creamy white, garlic basil sauce, and another simple pasta salad for the next day। I am very happy with how the first one came out, since it was spontaneous, using whatever was around, and it was another hit. Woo hoo! We finally did some fire stuff, on the beach. Rahel used her firehoop for the first time, Bjorn did a fire stick thing, and I used my hoop. They had this pink fuel Larsen bought that smelled like tequila. It is great for beginners who are not used to flames, but for me it was too mild; the flame is not as vibrant and the adrenaline does not hit me as strongly as it does with other fuels. Plus, I hold tequila so dearly to my heart that I don't want to smell a fuel and think of it.

P.S. I really was under the impression that we would be doing fire shows on the street. This is not the case, as of yet. I don't mind though, since I am having fun.

Some Juicy Info

NOTE: I not only enjoy edge in a man, I require it. But please remember, as some Italian douche did not, that there is a line between being witty and jovial while hitting on a girl, and being an obvious shmuck while hitting on a girl. Guys like this will never get this.

After the Back to the campground, for more wine. Then Rahel and Larsen argued for a long time in Swiss-German about who driving situation. Rahel got very heated. And Larsen was stubbornly calm. Which I am sure irritated Rahel even more. (I have included a picture of Larsen and Rahel. Background info: Larsen is friends with Bjorn since they were in Kindergarden. Rahel and Bjorn have dated for 10 years)