ALERT TO ALL MEN

Yesterday, I awoke from my nap while the camper was driving in Slovenia. I had been wanting some real food all day, without success, and I opened my eyes into a horrible mood. Now, for me this happens a few times a year... the sort of mood that you feel has invaded your body- it captures my normally jovial spirit and replaces it with a scowling bitch. I hate this feeling, but this is life.

All women know of this mood- some more often than others. In addition to all the other fabulous features we enjoy as women (bleeding, pms, gross childbirth, sexual assault, societal double standards regarding everything from power, sex, aging etc.), we get to have unexplainable moods. WOO HOO!

And so, men whom have grown up with sisters or around a lot of women are aware of this, and accept it as truth, like rain, wind, and sun. This is life. Then, there are the other men. These men (or boys, I suppose) have either not spent enough consecutive time with women to know that this is normal, or they are too juvenile to accept it as normal. My crazy swiss friend Larsen happens to be the latter sort, I believe. There has previously been additional female wrath from Rahel, to which he did not seem to accept as a woman's typical mood swings. Now there is me, and I am quite familiar with myself, and know that along with glory (me) there must be blood (my bad mood). I also will include that I am used to being alone every day for a fair share, during which I recharge my social batteries and spirit. And additionally, I am used to running my own show- traveling around the world choosing whatever I want to do and wherever I want to go. On this trip, I have had no time alone and the Swiss to make virtually every decision. So throw that in a glass with the standard sauce of female foul mood and you have quite a nasty cocktail.

NOW HERE IS SOME ADVICE:
If there is a woman you have to be around when she is in a horrible mood, and you go to a store before it closes to buy yourself beer, and she likes beer, has money to give you, and enjoys getting drunk, GET HER SOME FUCKING BEER. It will be a nice gesture, the beer could help alleviate her mood, and if she does not drink it, you, being the complete alcoholic you are, can drink it. No problem.

And so, in some final words regarding the wrath of women- do not take it personally. DO NOT disregard a bad mood as simply crazy, selfish, etc. and dismiss the individual as inferior. Accept it as we women do; something we do not quite understand, nor like, but something we must live with as being the unfortunate givers of all that is life.

To reiterate this in terms for non-native english speakers: Women have bad moods. Women have babies. A woman had you. You are on this earth ONLY because of women. Respect the workings of a woman that wind their way throughout the world.